A safety checklist before you meet someone

The checklist at a glance

A good first meeting rests on four habits: check them out while you chat, make a plan someone else knows about, stay in control on the night, and report anything that worried you. The table is the short version; the sections below explain each step.

While you're chatting: is this person who they say they are?

The aim of chatting is to find out whether the person is real, consistent and respectful before you give them anything that identifies you. Most of that shows up in how they answer simple questions.

• Keep it on the site at first. Moving to WhatsApp or text straight away hands over your phone number before you know anything about them. Swap numbers when you're ready, not when they push.
• Remember what's checked and what isn't. Photos on Meet Naughty BBWs are reviewed before they appear, but what members write about themselves isn't checked. Some members have an optional ID badge; most won't, and that's normal. How Meet Naughty BBWs works explains exactly what the platform does.
• Look for a consistent story. Do their job, location and plans hang together across messages? Do they answer questions, or swerve them?
• Watch for scam signs. Declarations of love within days. A reason they can't meet or video call: working offshore, in the forces, stuck abroad. Talk of an investment, a crypto opportunity, a parcel, a fee, a medical bill. Any request for money, gift cards or bank details, however small, is the end of the conversation.
• Notice how they talk about your body. Size-first messages, weight questions or pressure for photos are a red flag for respect, not just for romance. Our guide to fetishising messages covers the patterns.
• Keep private photos private. Don't send intimate images to someone you haven't met. If someone threatens to share photos you've already sent, don't pay; the eSafety Commissioner in Australia and the safety guide list who can help.

Example messages you can borrow

Having the words ready makes the sensible step easier to take. These are examples only; change them to sound like you.

Asking for a video call:

"I'm enjoying this. Before we meet, fancy a quick video call this week? Ten minutes is plenty."

Saying no to a money request:

"I don't send money to people I haven't met, so I'm going to leave it here. Take care."

Then stop replying and report the profile. You don't need to win the argument.

Turning down a lift:

"Thanks, but I'll make my own way. See you there at seven."

Your message to a friend:

"Meeting [profile name] at [place] at 7. Screenshot attached. I'll text you by 9. If I send 'how's the cat?', ring me with an emergency."

Before the date: make a plan someone else knows

A safe plan is short, public and shared with a friend. Twenty minutes of preparation means you can relax and enjoy the date itself.

1. Have a video or phone call. Five minutes tells you whether they're the person in the photos and whether you'd enjoy an hour together. If you'd rather not share your number yet, withhold it from your phone's settings.
2. Choose the place yourself, or agree it together. Somewhere public, busy enough, and ideally somewhere you already know. Check the seating if that matters to you; the body-confidence guide has ideas for first-date places where you can relax.
3. Keep it short. A coffee or one drink. You can extend a good date; it's harder to shorten a long one.
4. Tell a friend. Who you're meeting (profile name and a screenshot), where, and when you expect to be done. Agree a check-in time.
5. Sort your own transport. Know how you're getting there and home, with a backup if the last train is early. Charge your phone and bring a charger or power bank.
6. Keep your address to yourself. Meet away from home, and don't share your street or workplace yet.
7. Bring condoms if there's any chance you'll want them. Plans change; it's better to have them and not need them.

On the day: stay in control of the evening

On the night, the rule is simple: you arrive, you decide how long you stay, and you leave on your own terms.

• Arrive under your own steam. Don't accept a lift there or back on a first date.
• Keep an eye on your drink. Buy your own or watch it being poured, and don't leave it unattended.
• Drink at a pace you're happy with. You want to be able to make clear decisions about how the evening goes, and so do they.
• Check in with your friend at the agreed time, even if it's going brilliantly.
• Leave whenever you want. "I'm going to head off now" needs no explanation.
• Consent is ongoing. If things move on, both of you should be clearly up for it, and either of you can stop at any point. A yes to a drink isn't a yes to anything else.

If something feels wrong during the date

If you feel uneasy, act on it early: tell staff, get to a safe spot and leave. You don't need proof that something is wrong to protect yourself.

• Ask the staff for help. Bar and café staff deal with this more than you'd think. Many UK pubs and bars take part in the Ask for Angela scheme: ask at the bar for "Angela" and staff will help you leave discreetly, for example by calling you a taxi. Look for the posters, often in the toilets.
• If you think your drink has been spiked, tell staff or a friend at once, stay with someone you trust, and don't leave with your date. If you feel very unwell, call 000 in Australia or 999 in the UK.
• If you're in danger, call 000 in Australia or 999 in the UK.
• If your date won't take no for an answer, go somewhere busy, call a friend or a taxi, and report it afterwards.

Afterwards: follow up, then report

After any date, check in with your friend, take your time over what you want next, and report anything that worried you so it can be dealt with.

• Message your friend when you're home.
• Decide in your own time whether you want a second date. You don't owe anyone an immediate answer, and a polite "thanks, but I don't think we're a match" is enough.
• Look after your sexual health. In the UK, NHS sexual health clinics offer free STI testing, contraception and treatment. In Australia, healthdirect on 1800 022 222 can help you find a sexual health clinic.
• Report anything that worried you. Threats, abuse, pressure or requests for money go to the members help centre via the contact page. Include the profile name and screenshots.
• If something went badly, remember it says more about them than about you. Talk it through with someone you trust, and take a break if you need one.

Where to report a scam or threat

Reporting outside the site matters too, because the authorities can act on patterns the platform can't see.

If you've paid anyone, ring your bank straight away. For the bigger picture on privacy, photos and what the platform does and doesn't do, read staying safe on Meet Naughty BBWs. If you're still deciding whether to join at all, is Meet Naughty BBWs legit? sets out the facts.